I declared my goal weight at Weight Watchers.
I've been going back and forth about when and what my goal weight would be since I started this journey 27 months ago.
To be honest, I've been overweight my entire adult life. When I started Weight Watchers, I didn't have an end number/weight in mind because I honestly didn't know if I could lose weight successfully.
It feels super weird to have finally, officially declared a goal: 139 pounds. And it feels even weirder to be only a few pounds away from my goal.
It's weird in the sense that I thought "goal weight" would look different. Not that I expected to look like Jillian Michaels (seriously, she's my female body role model), but I kinda thought all my fat rolls would disappear. And my arms would have more definition. And my thighs wouldn't have the same shape.
That sounds so ridiculous as I type it. But it's the truth. Someone once told me that when you lose weight, you still look like yourself, just smaller. So if you had a round belly when you were overweight, you'll still have a round belly when you're at a healthy weight. Logically, I know this. But in real life, it feels different.
I always thought that once I got to goal weight I'd finally be happy with my body. I'd flaunt it in booty shorts and bikinis all summer long. Because I thought my body would look perfect once I was at goal weight.
But here's the thing: it doesn't. I've still got fat rolls. And I've got loose skin that jiggles along with the fat rolls. My boobs look different. I've got some weird little "wings" on the back of my arms- albeit, they are smaller than they were before I lost 50 pounds. My thighs still have cellulite. My body is just not what you'd call a typical "bikini body."
I always believed that you had to be a certain weight or look a certain way to wear a bikini. In some way, I haven't worn one since I was a kid because I've been waiting until I reached goal weight to do so.
But guess what? I'm damn near at goal, well within a healthy weight range, and I still don't have a typical "bikini body."
So what's a girl to do? Wear a damn bikini any damn way you please.
I'm tired of waiting for the "perfect body" to wear a bikini. Somewhere along the last 27 months, I stopped waiting for all the conditions to be right. I didn't wait to do my first marathon until I was at goal weight- I finished it weighing in at 178 pounds. I didn't wait to finally wear cute shorts until goal weight- I bought tons of colors last year. I wore bright pink shorts! That drew attention to my non-goal weight butt! I didn't wait until I'd lost the weight to compete in my first aquathlon- I jumped right in the water and swam my heart out.
So, I will be wearing a bikini next month on our Disney Cruise. In fact, I bought TWO of them to wear. Last summer, I made a promise to myself that I would wear a bikini this summer. It was never really about the number on the scale; I think it was about being comfortable enough in my own skin to wear one.
There are MANY women I look up to- women who don't give a crap about wearing a bikini no matter what size or weight they are. This woman, Nadia Aboulhosn, and Tess Munster are all equally fabulous in bikinis. When I look at them, I see confidence that I aspire to have.
I'm not going to wait for the perfect body or the perfect size anymore. This summer, I'm going to wear a bikini just as I am right now. And in case you were wondering, here's a chart from Huff Post Women to help you determine if you have a bikini body:
Here is my Friday message for you- don't wait for "perfect conditions." Do whatever you're waiting for now. You won't regret it, I promise.
And just in case you don't want to take my word for it, here's a selfie of my new bikini, completely unedited, dirty bathroom mirror and all :-)
What's something you're "waiting" for?