AM: 10/6/14, All Aboard the Struggle Bus!

Hello and welcome to the first Monday in October!

Today's Accountability Monday post is going to be a little different because I have been riding driving the struggle bus all weekend. I ate too much junk, drank too much wine, and today I'm home sick with a nasty sinus infection/sore throat/yuckiness. And I had a very depressing crying spell after looking at everyone's race pictures from the weekend. Ugh, this injury thing sucks. A LOT.

Emotionally, I feel like I'm just trying to tread water and not back slide into terrible habits, i.e. feeding my emotions with food- usually junk. It's been a little over two weeks since I have been able to walk or run and I feel like the next four weeks are going to go by so slowly. Everything becomes inconvenient and 10 times more difficult when you can't walk or get around on your own. And that is depressing. It's bad enough not being able to run/workout but when you couple that with not being able to just do what you want to do on your own- it's a recipe for crappy feelings and crappy eating.

This weekend we were home with my family. I went to two wineries, mom made lasagna for the football game, and I was in spaces I couldn't control (restaurants, other's homes) for three days. Weekends like this are where I really could use some activity points to balance out my eating. But I don't have any APs so I just have to try and regulate what I can splurge on- which is tough when everyone you're with is eating and drinking whatever they want. I feel like this sounds whiny- I'm not trying to be whiny; I'm just struggling with everything.

Wine, Wawa breakfast sandwich (6PPV), Multigrain Pancake Combo at IHOP (10PPV), and more wine.

I think the biggest part of the struggle is the lack of motivation. I don't have any fitness goals right now mainly because I can't predict what my walking/running will look like once I'm able to start again. All I know is that I'll be missing my favorite races of the year and that depresses the crap out of me.

I know that I can make other fitness goals but I have to be honest with you- non-weight bearing exercising is BORING. I'm already tired of lifting weights, leg lifts, sit-ups, planks, etc. I literally CANNOT WAIT until I get the go-ahead to start swimming and biking. It's just not fun to be so limited in workouts.

Also, my right calf is already shrinking. I was prepared for this but seeing it actually happen really makes me sad. It's... deflating. It's hard to motivate yourself to workout when there's no foreseeable goals and no way to stop your muscles from atrophying. For someone who's finally started to love the way her body looks, this is an incredible blow to my self-confidence/motivation to keep going.

My sad little right calf.

In weight-loss news, I stayed the exact same as last week: 152.6 pounds. I am thrilled that I didn't gain. I would like to work out a little more this week- at least four days. I did my 30 minute circuit three times this past week and I don't feel like it's enough to combat the lack of normal activity I've been missing.

So there you have it- I'm jumping off the struggle bus at the next stop- I've got to get my mind right so I can deal with these next four weeks successfully and get on the road to recovery.

Committing this to memory.