Monday, October 6, 2014

AM: 10/6/14, All Aboard the Struggle Bus!


Hello and welcome to the first Monday in October!

Today's Accountability Monday post is going to be a little different because I have been riding driving the struggle bus all weekend. I ate too much junk, drank too much wine, and today I'm home sick with a nasty sinus infection/sore throat/yuckiness. And I had a very depressing crying spell after looking at everyone's race pictures from the weekend. Ugh, this injury thing sucks. A LOT.

Emotionally, I feel like I'm just trying to tread water and not back slide into terrible habits, i.e. feeding my emotions with food- usually junk. It's been a little over two weeks since I have been able to walk or run and I feel like the next four weeks are going to go by so slowly. Everything becomes inconvenient and 10 times more difficult when you can't walk or get around on your own. And that is depressing. It's bad enough not being able to run/workout but when you couple that with not being able to just do what you want to do on your own- it's a recipe for crappy feelings and crappy eating.

This weekend we were home with my family. I went to two wineries, mom made lasagna for the football game, and I was in spaces I couldn't control (restaurants, other's homes) for three days. Weekends like this are where I really could use some activity points to balance out my eating. But I don't have any APs so I just have to try and regulate what I can splurge on- which is tough when everyone you're with is eating and drinking whatever they want. I feel like this sounds whiny- I'm not trying to be whiny; I'm just struggling with everything.

Wine, Wawa breakfast sandwich (6PPV), Multigrain Pancake Combo at IHOP (10PPV), and more wine.

I think the biggest part of the struggle is the lack of motivation. I don't have any fitness goals right now mainly because I can't predict what my walking/running will look like once I'm able to start again. All I know is that I'll be missing my favorite races of the year and that depresses the crap out of me.

I know that I can make other fitness goals but I have to be honest with you- non-weight bearing exercising is BORING. I'm already tired of lifting weights, leg lifts, sit-ups, planks, etc. I literally CANNOT WAIT until I get the go-ahead to start swimming and biking. It's just not fun to be so limited in workouts.

Also, my right calf is already shrinking. I was prepared for this but seeing it actually happen really makes me sad. It's... deflating. It's hard to motivate yourself to workout when there's no foreseeable goals and no way to stop your muscles from atrophying. For someone who's finally started to love the way her body looks, this is an incredible blow to my self-confidence/motivation to keep going.


My sad little right calf.


In weight-loss news, I stayed the exact same as last week: 152.6 pounds. I am thrilled that I didn't gain. I would like to work out a little more this week- at least four days. I did my 30 minute circuit three times this past week and I don't feel like it's enough to combat the lack of normal activity I've been missing.

So there you have it- I'm jumping off the struggle bus at the next stop- I've got to get my mind right so I can deal with these next four weeks successfully and get on the road to recovery.


Committing this to memory.

16 comments:

  1. Hang in there Sarah, this too shall pass. Before you know it you'll be the one posting race photos. :)

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  2. I hope you know how much you are inspiring all of us! I want to work so much harder for you because I know how much you want to! It's a small setback for an epic comeback!

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    1. Oh thanks, Steff! That means a lot to me :-) Can't wait to virtually cheer you on at Columbus!

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  3. Well that's great news that your weight stayed the same. Try to look at the positive! Even though it my be hard at time. Enjoy the relaxation with your family. Wine doesn't sound too bad:)

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    1. Thanks! Wine is great- scooting with wine is comical :-)

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  4. Ugh. I just left you a super supportive comment and it disappeared. so here is the cliff notes. take care of you emotional health too right now. you've got this :)

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    1. Thank you, Lauren. I really can't tell you how much I appreciate all of your (and the team's) support- y'all are helping me more than you know :-)

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  5. Woah idk where my comment went, but summing up what I said - so glad I found your blog from your Instagram account, seems like we have a lot in common! Just curious though about your stress fracture symptoms? I'm too impatient for my appointment tomorrow and I wanted to be fully prepared mentally if it is a stress fracture. Thanks & I look forward to keeping up with your blog posts!!

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    1. Hi Melissa! Yes- I noticed we do have a lot in common from our ig profiles- sorry if that sounds creepy, lol!

      So for symptoms- I started getting top of foot pain LAST November. I went to a PT about it and he said that as long as the pain wasn't getting worse as I ran (it wasn't) and there was no swelling, don't worry about it. So I didn't. The pain was slight then and very, very intermittent.

      Fast forward to July- my foot started swelling after I ran. A little bit of pain all over my foot- some on the top, some at the base of my toes, some on the side of my ankle. Not enough that stopped me from running or walking. This time, I see an orthopedic surgeon, he takes x-rays and says I'm fine- keep running. He told me to come back if the pain worsened or it started to swell more often.

      Fast forward to late August; my foot is swelling again and the pain is slightly worse. I have a low tolerance for pain and I'd still only put the pain at like a 4 out of 10. What concerned me was the swelling. I went back to the PT and the ortho in the same week. Both push and prod on my foot; both say "it's not a stress fracture, keep running." Ortho orders an MRI to rule out a stress fracture.

      MRI results- it's actually a stress fracture. It did not have typical symptoms (severe pain in a concentrated area, pain worsens with running, fails the "one hop" test- ie, you can't hop on that foot). I had diffuse pain that got better as I ran and I could jump and hop with no pain or issues. This is just an atypical case.

      If I could go back in time, I would have advocated more for an MRI in July. An x-ray CANNOT see a stress fracture so they were pretty much useless. Had I had the MRI in July, I could have gotten the diagnosis/started treatment much earlier. I think I've been running with a fracture for a few months.

      I should blog about this- this is a loooong comment! Please feel free to email me if you want to chat privately about it- sarah@sparklyrunner.com. Fingers crossed for you at your appointment tomorrow. Sending good vibes to you! :-)

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  6. Hi Sarah! I found your blog through a google search. I dealt with an injury and I'm left with no time to train for wine and dine! do you know if we pick up our bibs can we just head right to epcot and wait for our family members at the after party? Hope you're healing well!

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    1. Hi Marisa! I'm sorry to hear that :-( I am planning on doing exactly that! I will head to Epcot to wait for my dad and boyfriend- I am sure that we can get into the after-party as long as we have the bib. I'm going to call runDisney this week just to be sure. Maybe we can have a drink together at the after-party together! ;-)

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  7. Hey lady! Hang in there - I know how frustrating it can be to not be able to do the things you love! Focus on resting your leg so you can get back out there as soon as possible! I have been thinking of you on my runs and wishing you well!

    I am riding the struggle bus this week for real - feeling like crud and traveling for work is a terrible combination. Yuck!

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    1. Thank you, Lauren!

      Good luck with the traveling for work- been there, done that. I usually can't wait to get back in my own bed!

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